An apology to my real friends

An anonymous post from a friend X

This one was written by a friend of mine, it was a letter written to me and to her other close friends.

Of course, she never needed to apologise for trying to help, she never needed to apologise for the actions of another.

With her permission, I have posted her beautiful words up for everyone to read :)

An apology to my real friends

I didn’t realize it at the time, I thought she was just my friend, my best friend, but hidden in the depths of her mind she had to do everything in her power to absorb and engulf me.

She made me feel special and exclusive and I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.

You see, she knew what I was doing, when I was doing it and could tap into my emotions and ask me how I was feeling before every event, big or small in my life – I felt special, although now, looking back, it was like she was stalking me.

She would be the first to message me as soon as I turned my phone on in the morning or after an afternoon nap at the weekends – it was as if she was watching my online presence to see when I was on line so she could pounce, and the messages she would send me would be exact – as if she knew my every move or what I had just been doing for the last hour for me to be ‘off line’ it was spookily coincidental, or so I thought.

My focus changed and I didn’t realize it, but now I see it and I’m sorry to my real friends.

My focus was tunneled and somehow centered on her without me even realizing it, and because of this I’m sorry.

I’m sorry to my real friends that I didn’t see it sooner.

I’m sorry to my real friends that I didn’t tell you sooner.

I’m sorry to me real friends that I paid you less attention.

I’m sorry to my true friends that what she did to me she also did to you.

BUT, I’m lucky, so very lucky that you ARE my friends, you have stood by me and supported me through one of the tough times in my life that normally my ‘best friend’ would have been there for, but now as we know she was the cause of all of this misery, anger, disappointment and disbelief.

I see now that she did absorb me, and she did suck all my time and focus which didn’t give me room to give my time love and energy to you, my real friends and I’m sorry.

I’m stronger now, and I have a huge space in my heart for all of you, the real people in my life who I can experience real, true emotions with, who I can laugh with, cry with, be vulnerable around, be ugly with and be my most beautiful with and I thank you.

You guys have stood by me, and I’m so very happy that to you I am worth that support, this has made me so much stronger and determined to overcome the next challenge that comes.

You girls are my backbone, blood may be thicker than water, but the bond you share with another woman can be tested to the limits and never broken.

You Rock xoxo

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