You may have heard about what I do. It's probably wrong.
Let me tell you what I don't do...
I don't have 12 weeks holiday.
I don't have a full lunchtime break.
I don't have weekends off.
I don't start at 9am and finish at 3pm.
I don't not care.
Now let me tell you what I do...
I start work at 7:45am. I go home at 5pm.
I start work again at 7:30pm
Today I was a mediator between girls who were arguing.
Yesterday I was a social worker to someone who needed help.
Today I acted as a medic to a boy with a head knock.
This week I had two lunchtime duties. On two other lunchtimes, I coached the school rugby team because no one else could.
Last week I gave a boy some socks because he didn't have any.
Today I cut wood with a jigsaw so one of my kids could make something that enables success. He struggles to read and write so making something of his choosing lifts his wairua.
Erin Inger, wife and mother talks about her journey with cosmetic fixes and plastic surgery.
Truth bomb ahead: if you’re a judgeypants, stop reading:
I ground my teeth in my sleep my whole life without knowing, the front ones were 0.5cm long by age 30. They made me feel shit. So I saved up for veneers. I had to have braces for 2 years before I could have the veneers on.
I found out health insurance would pay to straighten my septum. The surgeon said it would likely make a positive difference to my breathing - I’ve had sinus issues my whole life. I thought, if I was going to have my nose broken and go through the pain, I would have rhinoplasty too - might as well wake up with a perfect nose! (irony: now have perfect nose, still can’t breathe - turns out it was 100% allergies).
I’ve been having botox in my frown line since I was 27, because people kept thinking I was grumpy, but I wasn’t - call it a preventative. I’ve also had boto...
Nikki talks about her own super powers and encourages others to think about their own.
Someone asked me today what my Super Hero Powers are. It was a serious question, and it threw me. My first thought was “I don’t have any Super Powers,” and my first urge was to list all the ways in which I am not super or powerful… I thought only of my frailties and weaknesses.
Then I really thought about it… For context, this is a hard question for me; I have fought a tendency toward depression for 20 years, and I’ve often needed to coach myself to believe that I’m good enough, at best. I have strategies for doing this – eg, only having people in my life who show me love and bring me joy. So, I’m cool and all, but I’m not one to go around proclaiming myself to be ‘super’ or ‘powerful.’
But I thought hard: What ‘power’ do I use to help others, which I believe more people in the world should exercise? What is it that I give out, that I wish the general po...
This is a guest blog about the story of baby loss. About baby ANGEL, taken too soon.
written by Jhankhana Vahanwala
Sometimes it’s the small talk that kills me. Those little questions from people in the grocery store line, bank tellers, waitresses, new acquaintances. “What do you do for a living?” “Are you married?” “Do you have kids?” It’s not that I mind answering those questions, even honestly. It’s my daily reality, it always hurts and talking about it doesn’t make it harder.
But the reaction is hard.
My baby girl was born in Sept 2014, Insert other person’s smile and nod. But she actually passed away the same day we learnt we are going to have a baby girl... Their face falls... Silence or awkward apologies.
I wish I could tell them that even though she died... SHE LIVED.
I wish I could flip those two sentences and show people the overwhelming joy that came with loving her in her short life in my womb. I wish I could tell the...
After contractions every hour for one and a half weeks I was spent.
The midwife gave me a stretch and sweep at 37.2 weeks and I went into labour after only a few hours. It was going to be a VBAC (vaginal birth after c section) and I was hoping for the best... but fearing the worst.
River was born and I was not on an operating table, she came out with the help of a scalpel that felt like a hot poker slicing my vagina near hemorrhoids that protruded like grapes after 2 hours of pushing.
Nikki talks about her most recent battle with depression, how it arrives at her doorstep and overstays its welcome sometimes.
I’ve never written about my depression before. When I’m well, I forget how bad it feels. So this time I wrote my journey into Unwell while I remembered it, in the hope that someone who reads it might:
Know they are not alone
Better understand the struggle of a loved one
Realise that mental illness is an Actual Real Thing
From age 18-23, I lived in a giant black well. I put on 25kg because I ate my feelings. There were weeks when I was treading water, and weeks when I was bottom feeding and suicidal. I held a job… barely. I managed to finish my thesis and get a Master’s degree. Which is a big achievement for a non-suicidal person, let alone while you are holding on to life by a thread.
My journey out of that well is a separate story. For now, we shall fast forward to the present.
5 years ago...
My little Scarlett was born all little and covered in my own blood :)
She had just been born via c section after an un-diagnosed breach meant she was never going to fit through the "trap door".
I had hallucinated on the gas after back to back contractions for 2 hours, fully dilated and thought I was in a massive attack mus...
This one was written by a friend of mine, it was a letter written to me and to her other close friends.
Of course, she never needed to apologise for trying to help, she never needed to apologise for the actions of another.
With her permission, I have posted her beautiful words up for everyone to read :)
An apology to my real friends
I didn’t realize it at the time, I thought she was just my friend, my best friend, but hidden in the depths of her mind she had to do everything in her power to absorb and engulf me.
She made me feel special and exclusive and I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.
You see, she knew what I was doing, when I was doing it and could tap into my emotions and ask me how I was feeling before every event, big or small in my life – I felt special, although now, looking back, it was like she was stalking me.
She would be the first to message me as soon as I turned my phone on in the morning or afte...
This week hasn’t been easy, I had to have a rant on The A Word about mum shaming, does anyone else think it’s stupid and needs to stop? I know everyone judges and even if you think you don’t it just human nature and it is what you choose to do about it is what counts.
I’m not on track with my study, I only have 3 weeks to go before I hand everything in and its looking close to impossible right now. I’m sure I’ll get there I’ll be needing a lot of coffee and may have to end up bribing myself.
This year is my first dairy free Easter and its even been a bit overwhelming, I don’t even think it’s the chocolate I miss, I’m not religious so to me the Easter weekend is for spending time with family but it just seems a bit different this year I think buy some...